


Twenty Questions

by cinderella1147



Category: The Mentalist
Genre: AU mid season 6, Alternate Universe, F/M, Friendship, but before S06E16 Violets, but hints of romance, ie pre-Pike, not connected to a specific episode really but def AU, post S06E10 Green Thumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 01:07:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30047598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinderella1147/pseuds/cinderella1147
Summary: Their friendship needed some mending after Jane returned to the States. After successfully closing a case, an unexpected turn of events give them more time ask - and answer - questions.There is a bit of bed-sharing, even though there were in fact two beds. :)
Relationships: Patrick Jane & Teresa Lisbon, Patrick Jane/Teresa Lisbon
Comments: 13
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. Originally, this was going to be a longer story - this part was supposed to be "Part 1" or 3. However, I can't seem to get the second part done for the life of me, so I figured I'd post this as a stand-alone, then we'll see what happens. Broke it down to 3 chapters, but will be posting all three today. 
> 
> 2\. English is still not my native language, so don't hesitate to flag anything that sounds wonky. :)
> 
> 3\. This is actually my first Mentalist fic for whatever reason, and I'm not certain I found their voice well. Maybe that's why that second part was just not coming together? Hm. something to think about. 
> 
> 4\. Takes place somewhere in Season 6, closer to Violets in time, but actually pre-Violets. It is not tied to any specific episode, but does take place a couple of months after Jane's return to the US, and pre-Pike.
> 
> 5\. I'm relatively sure there are tons of fics that explore similar themes, so there's probably nothing particularly ground-breaking in this. :) But I'm in the middle of a TM rewatch (not for the first time) and it really bugs me how certain things were never addressed in any form or capacity. So just my little take. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy. :)

“OK, see you guys at the office.” Lisbon waved at Cho and Fisher, as she headed toward her car. After several gruelling weeks, they finally solved their latest case. This morning, when they rode out to Rocksprings she was less then optimistic, but as usual, Jane pulled the rabbit out of his hat at the last minute, revealing the web of lies and deception that led to the murder. Libson was so happy about the sudden prospect of a free weekend, she decided to let Jane drive on the way back for a change. Truth was, she didn’t actually hate Jane’s driving style, she just liked a certain amount of control on an everyday basis, and driving was part of that. Also, she always got antsy in the passenger seat, but she'd never admit to that publicly. 

Jane was standing by the car when she tossed him the keys without an explanation. At his confused expression she just raised one eyebrow as if to say “what, you want me to change my mind?” He smiled at her and quickly walked to the driver’s side and hopped in. It was good to see her in a good mood like this. A successfully closed case usually meant the stress line between her eyebrows disappeared for a while, and the tension in her shoulders lessened, but it’s been a while since she’s allowed him to see her so carefree.

“Ready to go?” He asked when she closed her door.  
“Ready as ever.” He expertly maneuvered the car to the main road and steered them toward the highway. It was past 8 at night, and they’ve only been on the road for twenty minutes when the dark sky opened with heavy rain. The erratic, rhythmic thuds of the raindrops and the monotone swooshes of the windshield-wipers were the only noise in the otherwise silent car for a few more miles.

“Favorite band in high school?” Jane asked after a couple of minutes. They started this game a few weeks ago, when they had to spend close to 7 hours on the road for a case and somehow ran out of case-related topics to discuss.

It was their special blend of twenty questions and truth or dare. Without the dare part, of course. Unconsciously, they both steered away from heavy topics. This was a reintroduction. A mental exercise, where for a few hours - or for the duration of a few questions- they would pretend their common past didn’t exist. Lisbon was fairly sure Jane already knew her answers, but he humored her still, and she definitely enjoyed this rare opportunity to get honest answers out of him.

“Guns n’ Roses,” she responded immediately.  
“Really? That’s surprising.”  
“I loved them so much. Still do. In fact, I still know the lyrics to most of their stuff,” she laughed a little. “Oh-oh-oh sweet child of mine…” Lisbon hummed, and Jane grinned again. Good-mood Lisbon was certainly a fun companion on the road.

  
“My turn. Let’s see. First magic trick you ever learned?”  
“It was a card trick, of course. A simple one that’s easy for kids to handle. It was about telling which card a mark pulled from the deck.”  
“How old were you?”  
“Is that your second question?”  
“Yes.”  
“I was six. And yes, it was my father who taught me the trick. It wasn’t a big deal, but I was a cute kid, and I think that actually helped sell it. Grandmas loved me.” He winked at her and she couldn’t hold back a barb.  
“Oh, they still do, don’t worry about that.”  
“Hah, funny.” Jane lifted his hand to his lips, like he was thinking very hard about his next question. “How old were you when you first kissed a boy? Or girl. And you can have an extra question to me if you tell me his or her name.”

Lisbon’s cheek flushed a little, though she couldn’t give a reason why. It was hardly an inappropriate question. Still, somehow the fact that it was Jane who asked, made her feel like she was giving away a huge secret- and possibly future munition to use against her.  
“I was 14. And his name was Peter McGregor.”  
He hummed in understanding, and she found it suspicious that he didn’t have any jibes to add.

“Do you play any instruments?”  
“Yes.” He smiled, knowing she expected him to elaborate, but he was going to make her use up another question before divulging that information.  
She rolled her eyes in response, and was about to ask her follow up when -

  
“Jane!” Her yell was too late and it was already lost in the cacophony of the crash that happened just a moment later. Jane never had the chance to avoid the incoming car that appeared out of nowhere and slid towards them on the wet road. Their car spinned around and only stopped when it ran off the road, slammed into the wooden fencing of a cornfield.

Smoke was starting to appear from the front of the car, and with his heart pumping widely Jane yanked his seatbelt off and reached toward Lisbon.

“Lisbon, you okay?”  
She winced as she touched her forehead and knew instantly a bruise would be forming there. “I think so. Mostly. You?”  
“Same. Mostly. Let’s get out of this car, I don’t know how it was affected in the crash.”

It certainly didn’t look good. ‘A miracle that they both got out relatively unharmed,’ was how the local EMT would put it a half an hour later as he was bandaging up Lisbon’s head and arm. Jane’s arm was in a sling to ease the pain in his shoulder and his neck was stiff from the impact, but otherwise they both seemed fine.

Miracle, indeed. As Jane looked at Lisbon’s odd expression, he felt something tighten in his stomach. Normally, she would be all practical at a time like this. Calling Abbott and the office to let them know what happened. Interrogating the driver who caused the accident. Making arrangements to get the car towed.

But she did none of that. She didn’t even protest when the EMT started patching her up. Jane noticed that she clasped her hands together in her lap and realized it was to stop them from shaking. She was sitting in the back of the ambulance, her eyes seemingly calm, but he knew better. This was the face of someone who was desperately trying to hold it together. And he had no idea why she was reacting like this. Sure, it was scary for a little bit, but she’s been in plenty of scarier situations before.

While Lisbon was being taken care of, Jane updated Cho, then asked Wylie to make them a reservation at the nearest hotel. That settled, he asked the Sheriff on site to give them a ride to the hotel.

Lisbon was on autopilot, so when he let her know these plans, she just nodded and agreed. They walked toward the Sheriff’s car when he noticed how the chilly, rainy night air made her shiver slightly.  
“Where’s your jacket?”  
“Hm?” She looked at him, confusion evident on her face.  
“Your jacket. You were wearing it when we crashed. You must have taken it off when the EMT started to examine you.”  
“Yeah.. probably… I..”  
“That’s okay. I’ll see if I can find it.”

It was on the bench of the ambulance, so he hurried back to her and helped her into it. It was a familiar gesture. One that he used to do so many times back in California it was second nature. Now, as he adjusted her collar and her ponytail, it occurred to him that he hasn’t done this since they relocated to Texas. The recognition constricted his throat with emotion. Suddenly he was all too aware that the distance that developed between them was not only emotional, but an equally present physical one as well.

Before he could dwell on this more, the Sheriff motioned them into the car and they were on their way to the hotel. Jane kept stealing glances at Lisbon’s still figure and her tightly clasped hands. He wanted to reach out and hold her hand or pull her to his side, but the back seat of the Sheriff’s car was probably not the most appropriate place to do that, no matter how strong that urge was.

\---

  
Hours later, Jane was lying on his bed, fully clothed, restless. His eyes were closed, but he wasn’t sleeping. It was past 10pm, he was tired, but he couldn’t sleep. His shoulder hurt, and he considered putting back the sling that he carelessly tore off when he first entered the room, but quickly dismissed the idea. He couldn’t be bothered. He worried about Lisbon. She flat out refused when he offered to hang out with her after they checked in. It unnerved him. She seemed to revert back to old habits as fast as he could - they had that in common. He knew he was not the most open and forthcoming person ever, but he was trying. With her, he was trying. Ever since he returned to the US their relationship was strained, but he was determined to restore his friendship with Lisbon. He thought they were on a relatively good path, too. Coffee here and there, silly games, ice cream "dates," and by slowly trying to spend more and more time with her outside the office, his goal was to show her he was there. That he was not going anywhere. She was still guarded in a lot of ways, Jane wasn’t blind to see that. But they were getting there. Or, at least, he thought they were until she shut him out tonight.

It didn’t surprise him how hurt he felt by this realization. He had admitted to himself a long time ago how much she meant to him. What came as a surprise was that his usual go-to technique to get her to open up- mainly, to nag her until she gives up, or to scheme and pester her to figure things out - was not an option. He wanted her to tell him voluntarily whatever was going on.

He needed tea to think this through.

He got up from the bed and with determined steps walked toward the door. The 24-hour diner across the street would surely have warm tea and maybe even a muffin. He put on his suit jacket and moved to pull the door open, but as he did he found himself face to face with Lisbon. Rumpled clothes and messy hair, he would have found the sight charming - and probably a bit of a turn on as his quick mind provided alternative scenarios of when she might have tousled hair and rumpled clothes like this. But one look at her eyes and it was clear the reason behind her appearance was anything but fun. She must have just woken up, and it was obviously not a restful sleep.

Wordlessly he stepped aside and she walked in with a slightly embarrassed expression.

“Do you have tea?” her question surprised him. A coffee-addict like her, asking for tea? That’s a first.

“Actually I was on my way out to that diner to get some. Want to go?”


	2. Chapter 2

Ten minutes later, she was warming her hands around the steaming cup of tea and taking a deep breath of the sweet scent that enveloped them under the neon lights of the diner. Jane was stirring honey in his cup with practiced hands, and she found herself distracted by the slow, circular motion of the spoon.

Jane’s shooting voice broke the silence, but didn’t disturb it. “Your breathing is calmer now. Do you feel better?”

Surprised, she realized what happened. “You hypnotised me just now?”  
“Of course not. Just helped you relax. When I opened the door your eyes were wide and your pulse was practically visible.”  
She nodded in understanding and admittance.  
“Something happened,” he continued. “You went to sleep then something happened that upset you.” He saw he was right, so he continued to watch her for clues as he kept reading her. He knew full well how she hated when he did that. But he also knew her well enough to know when she needed a little push to talk about things. “You dreamt something? No, you remembered something. After the crash. And that’s what came back in your dream, right?”

Lisbon pressed her lips together in frustration. _How dare he try to read her._ Then she looked up from her cup to his eyes and there was only concern and compassion staring back at her. No smugness, no showmanship, no cynicism that would usually accompany his cold readings. His clear blue eyes were soft and she almost blushed at the recognition that all his attention was focused on her. Their relationship had its ups and downs, especially in the last few months. As happy as she was to see him and to work with him again, she had a hard time adjusting to this new reality. Trust issues, and all that. But the Jane that was sitting right in front of her was reminiscent to the Jane that she used to see when he was interacting with children - open, patient, understanding. She had no trouble trusting him. 

Her tense shoulders dropped as she let out a short puff of sigh.

“The crash - that was definitely what started it.” She finally admitted. “The metallic smell of the car and the sounds of the crash. The heavy rain. They kept playing in my head on a loop…” she added with a half laugh. Like she thought what she was saying made no sense, but Jane just nodded in understanding. “Then I went to bed. I thought if I could just get some sleep they would go away...”

“That didn’t happen, I guess?”  
“Nope.” She popped the “p” for emphasis. “This time it was in technicolor and with details that I spent the better part of the last 25 years trying to forget.” He was still looking at her so intently, she almost got distracted. “I was in the car with my mom when she had her accident. Over time, the details of the crash got erased, you know what I mean? Obviously, I remember the fact that it happened, but it’s been a long time and mostly I would just remember the pain of losing my mother, but not the actual event. But tonight… I don’t know...I guess there were too many similarities. I was sitting on the passenger seat again, we were hit on the same side, same sounds and smells and a similar kind of dread ... “

She didn’t finish the thought. Her hands gripped the mug tighter. She wasn’t ready to say out loud how scared she was for a moment after the crash that Jane would not respond if she called out his name. When she finally continued, her voice was more controlled. “I’ve had nightmares before, Jane. In this line of work, I think it comes with the territory. But it’s been a long time since I’ve woken up literally gasping for air and my body lifting up from the bed in an effort to wake me up from one.”

“The mind tends to protect us whenever it is possible. What you said about not remembering the details for a long time - it’s not uncommon. You experienced a trauma, the results you couldn’t ignore - in fact you had to face them every day. But there was no need having you relive the minute details, so the mind covered them. Kind of like scar tissue,” he explained. “You know how people can remember things under hypnosis? Because your mind and body are in such a relaxed state that there is no threat of the pain associated with the hidden memories.” She nodded, remembering the time when he tried to help her with hypnosis. “The crash tonight - it was a bad coincidence. Truthfully, I think anything could have triggered these memories at some point…”

“Yeah, you’re probably right.” She played with a napkin, keeping her eyes on the table. “It was just really unsettling. Most of the time … most of the time I’d like to think I’m pretty well-adjusted when it comes to my mother’s passing. That I dealt with it. Guess that’s not the case, huh?”

“I don’t think it’s something you can ever truly get over. You just learn to live with it.” His soft voice settled around her like a blanket and she almost physically felt the reassurance that he was trying to provide. Her throat constricted at the sudden understanding that his comment was a result of personal experience and that this is exactly where he was in his recovery. Learning to live with it, without having it control his life. Trying to concentrate on the good memories instead of the painful ones. Moving on in a way that leaves room for both the old happy memories and new ones.

Lisbon didn’t allow herself to show vulnerability often - or ever, really - and it’s been that way since the day her mother died. But with Jane, on rare occasions like this, it felt so good to let her guard down. She took a sip of her tea and finally let out a small sigh, appreciating how the tension of the last few hours finally rolled away.

Being understood is, in fact, an underrated pleasure.

___

  
For a little while, they just sat there, drinking tea in silence. Lisbon was starting to feel more like herself again, but she didn’t want to end their time just yet. The prospect of going to sleep didn’t sound so inviting after her nightmare, but also, she liked spending such an uninterrupted time with Jane. She missed this. Back at the CBI, in another life, they somehow used to have more opportunities like this. 

She could see that he would be content to sit there in silence and keep her company for as long as she needed, insomniac that he was, but she had a better idea.

“So, which instrument?”  
Her question was so sudden, the cup stopped midway to his mouth. Quickly realizing what she was referring to, his lips moved to a small smile.

“Guess. If you’re correct, you can have an extra question.”  
“Pff. You always say that, then trick me into giving away that extra question somehow. But okay. Let’s see. Guitar?”  
“Nice guess, but no. I’m feeling generous - you have one more shot.”  
“Contrabass.”

He was visibly dumbfounded. “Yes. How on earth did you know?”  
“I have no idea.” She laughed honestly. “Really? Contrabass? How?”  
“There was a guy who traveled with the carny for a year or so. He played. I was trying to get close to his daughter,” his smile got cheeky at the memory. “I thought if I spent extra time around her and her dad, I’d have a better chance, so I asked Marcell to give me lessons. Eventually, I figured out that his daughter was an annoying brat, but by that time I actually started to like the bass, so I continued with lessons until they left.”  
“That is so like you, and so unlike you at the same time that I can’t wrap my head around it.”  
“What can I say, I’m full of surprises. But it’s my turn now. And considering the long explanation you got, I expect the same in return.”  
“Ok, bring it.”

  
“If you were a Disney princess, which one would you be?”  
“Surprising direction to take this game, but okay.” She grinned. “Let me see. Not Ariel, you know how much I hate boats. Definitely not Snow White, because there’s no way I’d be staying at home, cleaning up after a bunch of men while they are off working. Probably not Cinderella - I’m not too big on balls and shoes. Maybe Belle? The townsfolk think I’m crazy for doing the job that I do, and I like books?” She was uncertain and a bit embarrassed, Jane found it absolutely adorable.

  
“That might be true, but if I can offer my humble opinion - you know, for the next time someone asks you this question - you’re 100% Mulan. Honorable. Courageous. Loyal. Ready to sacrifice yourself for your family and friends. And you’re doing what is still most often considered a “man’s job” but you’re doing it better than any man. You’re prepared to give up a lot for your country. You’re prepared to die for it.” He was quiet now, as if he just understood the truth behind the enormity of that statement. He swallowed to chase away these thoughts, but knew he would be thinking about it later when he was alone in his room again.

Lisbon felt her cheeks flush at the praise, taken aback at his description and his open compliments. She fumbled for an answer.  
“What would that make you? Khan, the horse?”  
“Mushu, of course. The funny side-kick who keeps messing things up but ultimately a necessary help during the mission.” He responded without a beat and they both laughed at the accuracy.

“Alright, I think we’ve taken this comparison as far as we should.” She smiled, but it turned into a yawn.

“You’re right. We can continue this tomorrow on the way home. C’mon. Let’s get back to the hotel.”

The hesitation was evident in her every move while they walked across the street and toward their rooms. As they reached Lisbon’s door she stopped.

  
“Would you.. want to watch some TV for a while?”  
She cringed inwardly. Her attempt to prolong the evening felt so obvious, she just wished this kind of conversation happened under different circumstances and not because she was nervous going to sleep. For a second, she wished they were in a parallel universe where neither of them had enough baggage to fill a room, and this was the beginning of a wild night instead of what it will likely be: friendly "goodnights" followed by restless sleep.

She opened her mouth to take back the offer, suddenly embarrassed that she even dared to ask, when Jane beat her to it.  
“Sounds great, let’s do that.”

He was careful to keep his voice light and his face neutral. While a couple of years ago he would have jumped at the opportunity to tease her about such an invitation, tonight it didn't seem like the right thing to do. In all fairness, spending the rest of the night in a dimly lit room, watching something mindless with his favorite companion was quickly becoming his preferred way of spending the night.

And if he can help her relax enough to fall asleep in the meantime, well, who’s he to say no to that?


	3. Chapter 3

“I used to love this as a kid,” Lisbon said softly some time later as she switched between channels and stopped on an episode of The Nanny. Her gentle smile indicated good memories, and Jane wished, not for the first time during the night, that the bubble they were under would never break.

“Yeah? What’s it about?”  
“You’ve never seen The Nanny?” Sitting up straight on the bed, she turned to where he was sitting in the armchair near the head of the bed. She noticed him vince slightly as he adjusted in his seat. So far he showed no signs that his shoulder was giving him any trouble, but clearly he was much better at concealing his discomfort than she thought. “How is your shoulder?”

“It’s fine. Just a little stiff is all. And to answer your previous question, no I haven’t. Carny life was not exactly conducive to follow the prime time TV schedule.”

She nodded in understanding, still preoccupied by his broad shoulders. He got rid of his suit jacket at some point after they returned from the diner. This rumpled look somehow suited him, or made him seem more at peace, despite his obvious discomfort, she mused. In general, he looked more carefree since his return to the US, and that was one thing she was grateful for. Two years was a long time without his presence in her life, but if that was the price for him to finally put some of his demons to rest, it was worth it.

_Speaking of rest._

“Stop pretending your shoulder is not killing you. Sit up here instead.” Lisbon patted the empty side of the bed, right next to her. “Come on. It’ll be almost like your beloved couch. It’s been almost two days since the last time you lounged on it - I’m sure you miss it.” After a beat, she added playfully, “and I’m sure it misses you, too.”

His response was an eye roll followed by a slight shake of head, then he gave in and settled down next to her. With his head resting on the pillow, he may have let out a small sigh of relief as his back and shoulder muscles finally relaxed. He felt the bed dip slightly when Lisbon laid back as well. The movement made the air flow in the room just enough to have the remnants of cinnamon and oolong reach him, and suddenly it seemed like a really bad idea to lie here with her.

Before he could chastise his better angel for not warning him about this calamity, Lisbon let out a hearty laugh at what happened on the TV screen and his mind struggled to keep up. On one hand, she was stunning when she laughed like that and he really just wanted to keep staring at her, on the other hand, he desperately needed to know what was so funny, because if that was her reaction, he’ll need to buy the boxset dvd and have her watch it with him, ten episodes a day.

“So, what is it about?”  
“I can’t believe you don’t know. OK, Fran is the nanny for the three kids of this uptight British guy. He’s a Broadway producer, and really, very British. Meanwhile she’s from Queens, the complete opposite of everything he knows. Obviously, they are destined to be together.” She laughed a little, then continued. “There’s Niles, the butler, CC, Maxwell’s partner. And a few hilarious characters from Fran’s life, like Grandma Yetta, or her mother Sylvia. It’s a sitcom, so there’s no overarching storyline or anything, other than Fran’s growing crush on her boss, her boss’s complete blindness to see it, and their two steps forward two steps back dance. But they are hilarious. I promise.”

He contemplated what he heard.  
“Do they ever finish the dance? Do they ever get together?”  
“Yeah. They do. Marriage, kids, the whole nine yards.”  
“So, the boss eventually realizes his feelings. Stops pushing her away.”  
“Yeah, something like that.”  
“That’s lucky.”  
“Very.”  
She turned back to the TV and laughed at another zinger, so Jane followed suit and they continued to watch reruns until past midnight.

___

Jane was always a light sleeper, that didn’t change over the last two years. When he felt the bed beside him dip from pressure he immediately roused and opened his eyes, trying to make out silhouettes in the darkened hotel room. There was a sliver of light seeping in where the two curtains on the window didn’t completely close. As his eyes adjusted, he watched Lisbon’s lithe figure make her way toward the bathroom. He could see from her posture that she was tiptoeing on the carpeted floor as if careful to not wake him up. He smiled a little at that then closed his eyes and waited for her return. The last thing he recalled before falling asleep was that they were in the middle of a Christmas episode. He vaguely remembered having asked her what was her all time favorite christmas present, but she never responded. Or, maybe she did, and he fell asleep? He wasn’t sure, but he hated to think that he missed such information.

A few minutes later, Lisbon returned. As she settled under the blanket, she turned toward Jane and found him staring at her with a gentle expression.

“Hi,” she whispered.  
“Hi.” Jane had a tiny smile.  
“Guess we fell asleep.”  
“Yeah.” It just occurred to him that maybe the polite thing would be to move back to his own room. “Should I...do you want me to go back to -”  
“No. Stay. You should stay.”  
He nodded in agreement. “Any more dreams?”  
“No. It’s been nice.”

They were still whispering although she didn't know why. The quiet and darkness made her more aware of how close he’s been lying next to her all this time. Jane, of course, just laid over the cover, so she could see his chest move in the steady rhythm of his slow breaths. It almost felt like the puffs of air that he let out reached her hand that laid between them, but realistically she knew that wasn’t possible. It’s been a long time since she shared her bed with someone for an entire night, she figured that was why she was more sensitive to the sounds and movements Jane made. His presence was enough to fill an entire room during daylight, and apparently, this only multiplied in a darkened room.

“Thank you for being here,” she said finally.  
“Never been to a sleepover when I was a kid, so I consider this a fair compensation from life.”  
She smiled a little. “Glad I could help.”

“Favorite christmas present?”  
“Haven’t I answered this already?”  
“I think maybe you wanted to, but we both fell asleep.”  
“When I was nineteen, my grandfather took me to a Cubs game. Just me and him. It was the first time I saw a game live. And I adored him, so it was a fantastic day. Also, my brothers were green with envy. That was a small bonus.” Jane grinned at her comments. Nothing like the bond between siblings.  
“I should have suspected it would involve sports somehow,” he added with a smile.

“My turn - most embarrassing date. And I want details.”  
“Ugh. Ok, fine. I was around 17, really into this girl who was travelling with the carny -”  
“I sense a pattern here.”  
“Hush. She was 16, gorgeous, and of course, totally into me, but with strict parents, so it took a while to finally convince her to go out with me. Eventually, she agreed. However, what I didn’t know was that she was getting braces two days before our date. Not that it would have been a deal breaker. But let me tell you, no one warns teenage boys that first kisses should not be happening in braces. She also didn’t have a lot of experience, and anyway… long story short, the braces cut me in, like, four places, ended up bleeding all over her. It was really bad. She was mortified, but honestly so was I. No second date followed, predictably.”

Lisbon was clutching her mouth, she was laughing so hard her whole body shook. Jane just grinned. “Glad you find my childhood trauma so amusing.”  
“I’m sorry, but I never would have expected a story like that. I always thought you were born this suave and ……”  
“Hm. Think about my seduction skills much, Lisbon?”  
“What? No, of course not. That’s not what I meant.” She stammered. _Liar, liar, pants on fire_ , she thought.   
“Sure, sure. Tell you what, we’ll get back to that later. I believe it’s my turn now, so why don’t you tell me about your most embarrassing date?”

“Oh god. So many of those. Does it count if the guy didn’t show up?”  
“No way anyone would stand you up.”  
“Yes way. But I was actually relieved when it happened, so I suppose it doesn’t really count. I had a guy start crying in the middle of our first date - he was talking about his pet hamster that died and he just lost it. No second date there. Then, I went out with another one who literally ran from our table and out the door when he learned I was a cop. Turns out there was an outstanding arrest warrant on him.” She laughed, she remembered being so mad, but now it was just funny.

“But, I think the most embarrassing one was in college, when a guy took me to a super fancy restaurant for our first date. I don’t even know why he picked that place, but he did, so I got my fancy dress and met him there. We were just walking into the restaurant when he tripped behind me and as he fell he reached out to whatever he could find to ease the fall. Unfortunately, he flat out grabbed my dress and basically ripped half of it off me during the movement. I was literally standing in front of the maitre d’ in a sleeveless half dress, boyshorts and heels. I still blush when I think about that.” As she said it, a soft pink color spread over her cheeks.

He laughed with her, and his eyes sparkled. He had no doubt that the sight she made was flawless and he was suddenly jealous of everyone who had a chance to see this gorgeous woman in such a state of undress.  
“I hope you made him suffer for that mistake.”  
“Well, he gave me his jacket to cover up, but it was hard to come back from that. I did give him a speeding ticket a couple of years later though.”  
“Perfect revenge.”  
“Yeah, well. That was a long time ago. I’ve gotten better at revenge over the years.”  
“No doubt about that.”

“Have you ever gotten a ticket? Or were you always able to talk or hypnotise your way out of it?”  
“Well… My driving record is spotless...but I never had to resort to hypnotism. I have, on occasion, used some techniques to highlight the injustices of the system. But I promise you, it was never anything serious. And nothing since we moved to Texas, I swear.”  
“Noted," Lisbon accepted with eyes rolling.

He sobered for a little bit.  
“Speaking of Texas...Have you ever regretted moving here?” His voice was serious now, and for the first time Lisbon cursed the darkness because she wished she could see his face clearly. The unspoken question lingered in the air: has she regretted moving here with him?

“Regretted it? No. You know I love working for the FBI. _If_ the CBI was never dismantled... _If_ you didn’t make my partnership one of your conditions, I don’t know if I would have ever made the move though. I liked Washington enough, it was a good compromise under the circumstances, and honestly, I kind of enjoyed starting a new life somewhere completely different from Sacramento. I liked how slow and uneventful it was compared to what life used to be like at the CBI. I think I needed it too. After everything went down,... and you left...it was good to step away from that reality and start from zero. To find my bearing again. I’m not saying it was easy, but I think it was needed.”

She hesitated for a moment, then continued. “But you were right: in certain ways I was trapped there. And I know we are not where we used to be, but you know I’m glad that you are back, right? I’m glad to be working with you again. So, no, no regrets.”

They never discussed those two years. He told her plenty of things in his letters, but they never sat down to talk about it, to catch up properly. He was relieved that she didn’t feel she made a bad decision by coming along.  
“I’m glad. I couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone else. I wouldn’t.” He smiled a little.

“What about you? Any regrets about coming back?”

“Just that it didn’t happen sooner.” He paused for a moment, then continued. “However, like you said, I needed that time. For a long time, I really thought I would never come back. Not with all the charges against me. And frankly, I didn’t think I had a lot to come back to. But I missed you. I thought that eventually, I could maybe persuade you to come for a visit...and until then, I would keep writing letters. Then Abbott showed up. Of course, the deal he offered was complete crap, and I knew myself enough that I would never be able to follow those terms. I was going to reject him. Actually, I did at first.”

“What changed your mind?”  
“This guy, Roger, was always at the little beachside bar I wrote you about. He was always nursing a beer, his stare empty. He fled the US like I did, about 20 years prior. I knew if I stayed, that was the fate I was choosing. I didn’t want that life. Once I realized that, it was just a matter of figuring out my own demands and how to make Abbott meet them.”  
“You made me part of the deal, “ she said softly. He nodded.

He didn’t plan on going into this tonight, but he knew that if didn't own up to his mistakes now, who knows when he’d get another chance.

“I know how much you’ve sacrificed over the years because of me. How your career at CBI probably suffered because of me, then the way I left...I just thought this might account for a small repayment on those debts...That, and selfishly, I wanted to keep working with you. I wanted you back in my life.”

“I’m glad to be here, but I wish you had stopped for a moment to consult with me about this. One phone call, Jane.”

“Yeah, you’re right. I’m sorry. I should have done that. I was so hyped up by the prospect of being back, of seeing you again...I never wanted to make you think that it wasn’t your decision, or that your choice didn’t matter. I think in a way I thought we were back at the same place where we were two years before. Technically, I knew time had passed, but with you...Mentally, I was still at the same place. I felt the same connection that we used to have. That I hope we can work our way back to.”

Lisbon nodded. “Me too.”

“I know I caused a lot of grief and trouble for you over the years...I wanted to apologize. I - I can’t say I wouldn’t do any of them now, but I have to admit that my hunger for revenge often overpowered common sense...Well, even my idea of common sense. I shouldn’t have been so blinded by the game McAllister forced on me. I’m sorry.”  
“Jane-”  
“Hang on, I want you to know I mean this. I understand why it is difficult for you to believe that I am sincere and capable of changing...What can I do to have you trust me again?”  
“Don’t be ridiculous, I trust you.”  
“Teresa, please. We both know that things changed. There’s a distance between us now that didn’t used to be there.. - “

“I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t have a cheat-sheet that you can use so that we get back to where we used to be. There are two years missing. I understand why you did what you did, and I understand why you left the way you did. But that doesn't change the fact that I lost my best friend for two years, and when you returned it seemed you brought back all the old habits as well. I am really glad that you're back but there's no magic word that will fix this. I think we’ll just need to give it time.”

“Do I have time?” He blurted out the question before he could think about it.   
“Huh?” With her confusion so eloquently articulated, Jane struggled to rush out the words that would explain what he meant exactly.  
“When we were on our way to New York the second time after I came back, you said to me that you don’t want to put your life on hold for me…I - I don’t want you to do that either, of course...But, it makes me wonder how much time I have to...win your trust back? Before you give up on me.” _Before you give up on us,_ he suddenly wanted to add, but stopped short. One thing at a time. 

Lisbon shook her head slightly then looked over his shoulder into the distance, trying to find the words for what she needed to say. 

“Jane, I believe your apology is sincere, but I don’t know how long or what it will take to get to that place again where I am able to trust you blindly like that…- But giving up on you? That’s not likely. Face it, we’ve been through too much for that to happen.” She almost wished she could give him more reassurance. Truth was, he made it difficult not jump in headfirst and just simply declare that they were ok. She never expected him to address these issues head on. After they moved to Texas and he never made any attempt to talk about how he fled from the country, his letters, or anything that he didn't write about, she accepted it as the new status quo. A friendship, that was built for years and years, but one that perhaps run its course. It wasn't until a month or so ago when she noticed small differences in his behaviour. But it was too little to get her hopes up. Until now. 

“For what it’s worth, I think this helps. The twenty questions during car rides, hanging out just for fun, and now this. It means a lot and helps me understand you better.” She smiled, and he reciprocated.  
“Good, I’m glad.”

“My turn, right?” Lisbon was eager now to ask her question. While just a day ago, she would never dare to bring up anything related to those two years he spent "on his island," she felt empowered now to broach the subject. It may not have been his intention, but with his apology and by so openly admitting his desire to rebuild their friendship, he has given her permission to be openly curious. He has given her hope that when she asks questions like this, he won't shut down, run away, or ignore them. She almost bursts from excitement, because for the longest time she thought those doors would remain closed, but now she felt like he'd given her the keys instead.  
“Hmm-hmm,” he replied.

“Tell me about the people you met on the island. Tell me some stories that you didn’t write about in your letters. Tell me how you even got there in the first place.”

He searched her eyes for a moment, recognizing the questions for what they represented instead of what they were. _Tell me about what I missed. Tell me about you. Let me get to know the "you" that you became there._

“Okay.” He smiled and he did. Spoke about the weeks worth of adventurous travel that led him to South America, island-hopping until he found one he liked enough to settle for more than a few weeks, the small favors he did using his mentalist skills that let him get by and make friends. _Well, good_ _acquaintances_ , he corrected himself and smiled at her. The implication that to him friendship was different than merely getting along well with someone wasn't lost on her. And so the stories flowed, one led to another, and she struggled to keep her eyes open, enjoying this opportunity and the sound of his voice.

“Teresa, are you still awake?" Softly he stopped to check when she hasn't responded in a while. It occurred to him that he started calling her Teresa at some point of the night and while this might require some analysis later on, the fact was that she didn't seem to mind.   
"Yeah." She hummed with her eyes still closed. "Issyourturn now. Last question though.” Her speech sluggish, clearly she was moments away from falling asleep. Yet, he pressed on.

“If someday soon, not now, you know, but soon, I’d ask you out on a date, would you perhaps consider saying yes?”

The question lingered in the air and he half expected her eyes to snap open in shock, but that didn't happen. In fact, nothing did. The question lingered around them, then dissolved into the air the longer it was left unanswered. But before his utter panic could take its place he noticed the long and shallow rise and fall of her chest. How a piece of hair that fell across her face moved ever so barely as she breathed in and breathed out.

She fell asleep. 

Maybe it was better this way. _Trust the timing._

He didn't believe in God, but he could be open to a bit of divine intervention. Where Teresa Lisbon was concerned, he was open to believe in just about anything. 

“Good night, Teresa,” he whispered finally. 

Watching her, laying there facing him, he allowed himself one more small gesture and gently placed his hand in her palm that lay in-between them.

It was moments later, when he was close to falling asleep himself, that he felt her squeeze his hand, making his heart jump in surprise. With his eyes still shut, he closed his hand more firmly over hers and etched the moment in his memory palace.

As did she.


End file.
